My heart could be heavy today. I could lament the ending of a relationship. I may yet do that as the day wears on. This morning, I've been focusing on my morning coffee and filling out paper work for personal business, tasks I've been ignoring until today. I was giving myself some left brain tasks to do, so that I wouldn't slip into the emotions of a break up. I don't even know if it is a break up. All I know is that my dear Toby is in another state, and when I'll see him again is unknown.
Right now, I'm living in acceptance of his absence. It is a process, of course, like following a windy road. There are many blind turns. Acceptance is about opening one's heart to the truth of one's own reality. I have been able to do that in small increments. That is the process. It is taking bite size pieces of my reality and swallowing them one chunk at a time. That statement may sound like days on end of having to suck up to bad feelings and situations. I believe, however, that if I'm as honest as I can be in each moment, whether I share it with another person or know it in my heart and my gut, that my Soul expands around me and I know I'm a. not in charge of the big picture and b. that I'm better off not being in charge of the big picture.
This morning, I pulled the Acceptance card from the Daily Guidance from Your Angels Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D. This card is about seeing myself and others "through the eyes of the angels." At first, I can't begin to imagine how to do that. Then she mentions unconditional love and acceptance. She mentions that this card encourages us to replace negative thoughts and judgement with positive thoughts for their health and well being. She writes that when practicing this, we are building self-esteem and harmony in relationships.
Ahh...I can begin to see how to do that because I am. To think positively -- or to hold loving thoughts rather than judgement for myself and others, is how I am building self-esteem. And from my own experience, the only way I know to have room for a positive thought is to be in acceptance. To accept that the universe is handling it. To accept that I don't need to force a situation to turn out in a way that is acceptable to me. That I can say, "I don't know what is best," while holding my palms open with wonder.
I can not get what I want and not be afraid that I am forgotten or alone. I can think of my Toby in another state being exactly where he needs to be in this moment, walking the path he is meant to walk, supported by the universe that governs his precious life while I am also walking the path I am meant to walk, supported by the universe that governs my precious life. And instead of feeling like I've lost something I can turn to what's in front of me that needs my attention.
I can be free of worry and focus instead on what the universe wants from me right in this moment. And if I want to cry, I can do that, too. But I will not be crying out of fear or pity. I will be crying to release my hold on what was and be with the truth of what is. With acceptance, I have great esteem because I can act in a way that matches the universe's intention for me, which is much more powerful than me acting alone.
Copyright by Rachel Drews, 2012. All rights reserved. Any excerpts reproduced from this article should include links to the original.
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