Tales of Online Dating - Yep. I do it.

Online dating (this is what the modern dating life has become) - Interesting to say the least.

Enlightened70 (he calls himself) -- calls me while I am driving home after finishing dinner with my lovely friend, Sue.

Yes, I gave Enlightened70 my phone number.

I didn't realize that I was answering an interrogation service and was bombarded with questions so dull they made me think I had somehow missed something on my taxes and the IRS had to get more information outta me. Needless to say, it was the most unimaginative conversation EVER.

Example question 1:
"So, what are you looking for?"

Example question 2:
"Did you read my profile?"

Example question 3:
"What did you think of it?"

Example question 4:
"Are you picky?"

Are you fucking kidding me? (internal dialogue off and running)

So, after about 10 mins of this, he follows up with, "So, do you have anymore pictures of yourself?"

I respond with, "Yes, I do."

(Gonna leave out the quotes, here. Follow along as best you can).
Where?
Where?
Yes, like on your phone?
On my computer.
Oh, cause I have pictures of myself on my phone and on Facebook.

Do you have Facebook?
Uh. Yeah.
Well, you can befriend me on Facebook

But I don't know you.
And I can see more pictures of you.


WHAAA??? (volume went up on the internal dialogue)

No.
No?
No. I don't know you.
I don't think that Facebook is that big of a deal. I mean, do you have something to hide?
Uh. No. I don't know you. I am not going to befriend you on Facebook.

HE hangs up on ME

WTF? Seriously? (shouting and disbelief as internal dialogue continues)

I get my purse and lunch bag and dog leash from the front seat of my car. I open the back door to let Chloe out, and we head upstairs so I can fix her some dinner.

I see the red light flashing on my phone. I have a new email from non-other than Enlightened70.

Yeah, I think you are too uptight for me. While we might not click emotionally or mentally or whatever, we might click physically. If you're up for it, let me know. xoxoxo

Now, that is what I call some online romance. So glad I followed my gut instinct on that one.

Copyright by Rachel Drews, 2011. All rights reserved. Any excerpts reproduced from this article should include links to the original.